My Followers

My Poems

For You

my love for you
is an endless hope
a waking dream
a walking twin
inside of me

you never leave me
you always there for me
you pray for and with me
you are my first true love.

my love for you
is far from singular
for you is more than one
for you is my fellow friends

friends and love
is what makes love so pure
because you makes my day
shine and bright
in rain and drought
you are my dear friends.

is my love and care for you
my blood ties family members
for you are my strength
and shape my personalities and emotions
forms my self and me

you throws my hope for my future
and who knows better
who provide all and everything I could ask for
and more than anything I could say
my dear family..

fourth is for U,
who knows that he have my heart
my soul and my feelings
and for him I cried alone
because I've met him

U are my dear heart
my dear love
that I would not let go
that I already let U go

more than anything I can say
love hurts and cares
thank U for the moments together

My Group G

There are 13 of us
with our own, different
yet tone each other's life and personalities well
gAren, gIby, gArol
gWen, Grace,
gIka, gEv
kenitH, kuJai, Jul
GasOn, gRay ...

Eh, wait !
There are only 12 of us !
Whose been left out ?
Let's see ...

Who that might BE ?


Owh, it's fUng !

How mischief !
So much fun
indescribable friendship
so pure and so fragile
so high so childish 
so enjoying yet so short ...

Did you still remember?
I asked you before,
I really DID !

Will we be able to see each other again ?
when will we met another time ?

I really hope ! ~~

While I'm away from all of you
I'm still dreaming the past
hoping the dream will come true
and I know
I will living my dream for real tomorrow
and the next day 
and the day after the day after
because I am still your forever friend :)

Jesus Christ our Saviour

You helped me during hardship, pain, sadness, hopeless
and I never ever feels thankful enough for your endless love, temperate anger and compassion heart ...

During this life, I realize lots of things. You opened them for me to see. And I saw what I know now.
I knew and saw too many things that may blinded me from some truth. I can't say that I hate to be a sinner, because as much I hate it, I cannot set free from it. 

You let me witness your every power and might in every small things, in every seconds I live, in every moments that I think, see, hear, feel the things surrounds me. 

You let me know that, all the knowledge belong to you. We looked how the atoms were smashed, the new particles we discover, the violent and ugly truth of the universe cycles, the spring theory birth, space-time fabric that explains beautifully the force of gravity in space, the behaviour of planetary movements, the matter and antimatter, the dark energy, dark matter .. 

How ? Why ? 
And I smile ...
and be thankful 

The Question in A Second

I tell you,

I'd be here for my parents sake,
I dare to say that it was NOT my choice,
I dare to admit that I make this choice.

Now, I regretted it. I don't like to do things not for me. I don't like to be the good one. I want to be just myself. Not, because of others. I'm selfish then. You can say that because I'm not feeling contented. Well, of course ! How can you feel contented doing others will not yours. And I hate it, because I'm a hypocrite, saying that I'm alright here, I'm fine here. Thank you ! I enjoys it here. All of it.

And I'll never say a word of it. Because it was much easier for me then, not to explain the why, how come and all the unnecessary questions.

But, it was actually about me. Not about what I feel about you. So sorry telling you this, because I just need to say it.

And this is my third time of pain. I don't want to share it with you.

I just want to tell you, to explain to you that this was the reason why I didn't do very nice. All the works I did was for the respect of this profession, the lecturers, for you ( so you don't get in trouble because of me) and for my parents. And, so that I don't feel bad.

And the true part all of this,
i feels thankful for the friends that understand ...
And I still REFUSE to give up my life, astrophysics

I won't turn back. I was only looking all the things that had occured. I'll come up with new strategy. For the sake of everyone, and this time for myself ESPECIALLY ..

Not now, not yet. Soon, when help arrives.
Hopefully ... no, Please ..
while I'm still .. ??

The Dream I left behind

it was once my dream
that i intended to be
and i'm going to be
it's was not what i was meant to be

the choices were clear as logic
that me is what i'll be
except i wasn't there to pick the choice for me

i'm thinking of it
after the picking was long over
and i realize
that i was the one
who make the choice for me

and i thanked Him
for that
i am not me entirely
like who i was before.

To Start over Again

when i fell down
i fell down alone
and when people wake up near the dawn
i creeps alone
to cure my pain

to be like You,
i must carry my own pain
and help the Others to carry theirs
to be able
to feel
a little bit
of what PAIN really is.

and when i fell
i fell because of my weaknesses,
arrogance, simple mind play
and then those
the Others go to see
how painful the PAIN is
they start to cure my pain
and tell a tale to ease the pain
because the pain is not painful outside
it was painful deep inside. 


Life is short, isn't ?
you're born, live, grow old and eventually
die ..

It's so simple, knowing
that it is not WORTH being
in a short life

it's even better to be

Life IS to be appreciated

So, why are we doing it?
Throwing our life as if it was a burden to be carried ...

That's exactly why we need to understand the concept first ...

The Friends in my life

I hold my friends like I hold to my life.
I have nothing important in life but hope, love and friends.
I don't tell you how precious you are in my life because you are,
a precious piece in my heart that light my soul.

I tried all i can to show you that you means everything to me but I cant,
because I already did it
in every seconds count
when I'm with you.

I tried so much that I cant make you feel happy
as I do when I'm with you, because I'm too worried for your problems.

I'm just a writer.
writing the wall of my heart and thoughts

and I can't appreciate you
the way others do
because I'm afraid that you might know how important you are to me

Don't bother to tell me.
You already did.

Thank you,
my Frenz.


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